Tuan Blog

Tawau✈Mansoura, Malaysia
'93. A doctor-in-the-making.

Sunday, 7 January 2018

Selamat Tahun Baru 2018


hari nie tiba-tiba terbuka blog dan terpost satu entry. Selamat tahun baru! dan selamat melangkah ke tahun akhir fakulti perubatan. Tak sangka betul dah tahun akhir dah. Memang lah rasa lama perjalanan nak ke tahun akhir ni tapi betul-betul tak sangka akhirnya aku jadi senior yang betul-betul senior. Inshaallah tahun akhir untuk course aku, Mansoura Conventional bermula dari Disember 2017 hingga Januari 2019. Kelas sekejap ja around 9 bulan, final exam tu yang lama gila nak mati. Tahun ni kami akan belajar lagi dua subjek iaitu Obstetric & Gynecology dan Surgery! Bermula dengan O&G, sekarang dah masuk minggu ketiga dah. Harap-harap semuanya dipermudahkan dan dapat grad on time, dapat placement housemanship cepat-cepat (walaupun belom decide nak buat ho dekat mana) dapat jadi doctor yang function, disayangi oleh semua patient dan colleague dan bosses aminn aminn. Okay lah till next time!

Tuesday, 13 June 2017

BTS (behind the scenes) iykwim


So readers, exactly before one year ago at this moment I wasn't into kpop thingy well I do watched Korean dramas and listened to kpop songs which I bluetooth-ed from my friend's but kpop was not my forte.

Facts about me before June '16 :
  • I listened to kpop songs but mostly ost for kdramas
  • I can barely differentiate idol's faces they all look the same!
  • I think boy groups are soooo gayyyyyy!
  • I was into 2PM but only Wooyoung (thanks to Dream High) and I know their fandom is called HOTTEST
  • I only knew Taecyeon, Nickhun (and of course Wooyoung)
  • Of course I know JYP!
  • and BIG BANG! and 2NE1! and SNSD! and Super Junior! and f(x)! wow that's a lot of 'and' (but not every member!)
  • I also get to know INFINITE because L was so good looking in Master's Sun (and he still is)
  • I know SISTAR except Dasom
  • D.O was my first bias in EXO so I only know his name lol
  • BTS? nahhhh just another typical korean boy group (even after watching DOPE MV and War Of Hormone MV)

So here comes my story of how I ended up stanning these seven dorks called BTS/ Bangtan Sonyeondan/ Bulletproof Boy Scouts... what a crazy names right? I am a twitter person. I scroll twitter like 24/7 to get to know what's happening around me so a year ago, on early June, during my study leave for final exams and also it was during Ramadhan, I always encounter hashtags like #BTS3rdanniversary #2016BTSFESTA #BTS #BTS #BTS #BTS and #BTS so I got curious. Then I go to youtube and search for BTS' MV and download three most viewed songs at that time as mp3 which are 'Boy In Luv' (quiet irritated at the "Luv" spelling but at that time only) 'Dope' and 'Fire'. My habit while studying is to listen to songs and when 'Boy In Luv' is playing I was so attracted because the chorus is soooo catchy. And another habit of mine is when I like a certain song I'm gonna repeat it until I die *lol*. Then, I tried to look at the MV and guess what I loved it so much and Jimin was my first bias because Taehyung and Jungkook are too cute too handle! I don't like to compete guys....

So, from 'Boy In Luv' MV to 'Fire' to 'DOPE' to 'War Of Hormone' to 'Forever Young' to 'RUN' and the list goes on! I make a research about the members and memorized their personal infos (god i don't know why I was so into them!) watched all their MVs and fandom and stuffs. Then I tried to share this interest with my bestfriend in Malaysia and guess what? She is already an A.R.M.Y (BTS' fandom name) wayyyyy earlier than me. I was so glad I have someone to share this crazy and childish interest with me (haha).

I thought this thing of me getting crazy about a young boy band is temporary but as time goes by I only get to know them more and more and fall for them more and more. After finishing my finals, I went back to Malaysia and continue fangirling(haha) by watching their concerts, and reality shows and I also like to answer those bts quizzes at youtube(lol)

On October last year they made a comeback with WINGs album and the tittle song which is "Blood, Sweat and Tears" got sooooo much love from the world to the point that I get jealous! I don't like to share them with many girls. Actually no, thats not the case. I only get jealous and insecure when my friends(I mean person I know) who previously didn't stan them, now starting to like my boys as well! My insecurity continue to grow when they release extended version of WINGs with two amazing MVs 'Spring Day' and 'Not Today'! More people start to love them! Its good for them but not for me!

But you know what, I shouldn't have such competitive feelings towards other ARMYs. I'm working on it you know! 13th June 2017(which is today) is my boys fourth year anniversary since they debut! and of course marks my first anniversary as an ARMY!

I've only been with them for one full year yet they already got sooo many big awards! and those moments are only when I already become an ARMY. I am such a lucky charm you know *lol* Recently they won at Billboard Music Awards against Justin Bieber! Selena Gomez! Ariana Grande! and Shawn Mendes! For Top Social Artists Awards. I think this is the end of my story so till then! (btw I use so many exclamation marks in this entry, forgive me huhu)

Monday, 12 June 2017

Live update? Life update!

Assalamualaikum. Lamaaaaa gila tak update blog like one and a half years I guess? But today since I have something to share and I have the time as well as the enthusiams so why not? But before I start typing this I was reading my old posts because I am narcissist like that XD

Back then I was so struggling with getting financial aids for my degree life and thanks to god after four full years of self sponsoring my application for scholarship is accepted. So right now I am under the contract of yayasan sabah(until feb 2019 because I should already graduate at that time) to pass every exams and to work as a goverment servant after graduating. And not to forget, no marriage before graduating *cough* or else the contract will be terminated. If they find out lah hewhew

Previously, I also like to complaint about transferring to Malaysia for my clinical training, but I didn't get the opportunity. But hey! there's nothing wrong about undergoing my clinical training here in Egypt! Doctors are good and patients are cooperative! Its just that I cannot deny the language barrier! Also there are many interesting cases that I didn't expect to see outside textbooks but yeah we get to see them here! I don't know if such case can be found at hospitals in Malaysia, well I bet every hospitals are the same. I am just amazed with what I saw. That's all. Btw I already did my attachment/elective posting at emergency department, Tawau General Hospital(gonna talk about it in another entry)

So right now I am a fifth year medical student at Mansoura University. For this year we will be studying two super heavy subjects starting from october 2016 until december 2017 which include pediatrics and internal medicine (nephrology, rheumatology, hematology, endocrinology, hepatology, GIT, cardiology, radiology, pulmonology, tropical medicine, neurology, psychiatry, dermatology, and rheumatism phewwwwwwww!) As usual our weekend is only on friday! I repeat! FRIDAY ONLY! we don't have new years holidays, CNY holiday, sultan's birthday, kaamatan, gawai, ramadhan break and the list goes on. Only three days break for eid and yeah that's it! Not to mention that summer season in Egypt is soooo hottttt!

Actually this is not why I want to blog today but nvm I'm just gonna post it in the next entry(well no promises). Till then! 

Tuesday, 1 December 2015

Never lose hope!

Ni first entry aku as a 4th year medstud muehehe. Currently we are in our second round which is E.N.T baru beberapa hari finish end round exam utk ophthal, cuti sehari then sambung round baru. Tapi tahun 4 ni tak se-packed class masa preclinical dulu...memang syukur yang amat. So far I really like tahun 4..... Tapi entry ni aku bukan nak rooftop rant pasal my life as a 4th year medstud tapi pasal JANGAN PERNAH PUTUS ASA!
Serious lahhhh aku bengang gilaaa dengan diri sendiri sebab last year aku tak apply scholarship yayasan sabah (YS). Alkisahnya masa tahun 1 & 2 kitorang busy kemain sign in sana sini, isi borang itu ini, but at the end hampehh. Habuk pun tak ada. Paling buat aku hilang kesabaran dengan YS masa tahun 2, aku bukan apply scholarship pun waktu tu, but just for loan kottt untuk bayar yuran study, tak bagi duit poket pun takpe lah family aku masih boleh tanggung lagi. Mak aku siap pegi beli nombor borang lagi......tapi last2 tetap takde rezeki.... So masa hujung tahun 3 aku tak apply apa2 pun sebab result aku cukup2 makan ja....... Lagipun merajuk dengan YS waktu tu aku memang betul2 putus asa! Mindset aku memang selagi aku tak dapat result cemerlang selagi itu aku takkan boleh dapat apa2 financial support. Lupa lettew yg Allah tu Maha Pemberi Rezeki ! (Astaghfirullah) Rupa-rupanya waktu aku tengah putus asa frust menonggeng tu lahhh mood YS tengah klimaks nak bantu anak2 sabah di mesir ni haaaa. Adik sepupu member aku, yang apply scholarship YS, and the gang, semua berjaya dapat tajaan. Aku and the gang pulak memang tinggal putih mata ja hoiii !!!
Akhir kata, never loses hope! Jangan pernah putus asa! Jangan sesekali! Banyak ayat dalam al-Quran yang melarang kita daripada putus asa macam Yusuf:87, Hijr:56, Ankabut:23 and many more ...(thanks to my Quran apps) ! For the next application memang kitorang tunggu2 tak nak dah merajuk! Tak nak dah terlepas! Inshaallah dapat! Have faith!
K till then. Maassalamah.

Friday, 18 September 2015

Aku tak penyayang

Assalamualaikum. Tersebutlah kisah........ Aku teman housemate aku semalam turun pegi kedai ammu belakang beli stok makanan bujang kami. First thing first yang kitorang nak beli is susu. Tapi kat depan fridge minumam tu ada dua orang budak, sorang perempuan dengan adik lelakinya. Yang budak lelaki tu dia tak bagi kitorang bukak fridge, marah-marah dia. Tapiiiiii kesah pulak aku? Bukan aku paham pun apa yang dia bebelkan. Masa tu aku bengang giler dengan budak laki tu rasa nak cubit-cubit aje. Akak dia pun tak berganjak dok perhati kitorang ja sambil mengecam yang kitorang ni 'Malizi! Malizi!'. Aku syak budak laki tu ada ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) haa tak sia-sia aku study pharmacology bagai nak gila. Tapi first diagnosis aku sebenarnya budak tu terencat, tapi tak kowt. Budak tu siap pukul aku lagi. Aku bengang gilerrrr but I held it in.

Tapi pekerja kedai tu datang cakap lembut-lembut dengan budak laki tu jangan kacau pelanggan tetap dia ni. I bet so lah. Pastu kitorang pun pergi kaunter membayar, budak tu still kacau aku... God, give me patience! Aku nak marah tapi tak reti cakap arab...sob..sobb. Hanya mampu jerit 'mamnou3' ! Sambil tunjuk index finger dan jegilkan mata. Pekerja tu datang lagi pujuk budak tu.

You know what, aku tak taulah pekerja tu berlakon jadi penyayang budak-budak depan kitorang ataupun dia memang betul-betul sayang. Sorry for the suuzhon. Sebab kan sepanjang aku kat Mesir ni, kalau ada budak tak dengar kata parents, diorang akan ajar cukup-cukup! Aku yang tak berapa nak penyayang ni pun boleh jatuh kasihan dengan anak diorang. Can you imagine?

Aku selalu tanya diri sendiri :

Soalan : Aku nak adik ke?

Jawapan dulu : Taknak! Titik.

Jawapan sekarang : Nak sorang tapi yang muda setahun je. Lebih-lebih tak boleh. Beza umur jauh-jauh pun taknak.

Hakikat : Aku takda adik.

Lepas kejadian semalam baru aku sedar yang aku ni bukan seorang yang penyayang terhadap kanak-kanak, dengan haiwan pun, cepat je aku naik hantu. Aku ada 4 anak sedara dan berpuluh-puluh anak cousin. Rumah kitorang dekat-dekat so kitorang rapat. Since aku kecik walaupun aku takde adik (sebenarnya ada tapi meninggal masa baby) aku selalu dikelilingi anak-anak cousin aku, aku selalu tolong jaga diorang tapi I'm still awkward towards toddlers despite by always being surrounded by them. Anak sedara aku pun ada je kecederaan diorang bila aku yang jaga, jadi aku takda self confidence towards toddlers. Tapiiii budak-budak suka bawak aku main dengan diorang mungkin sebab diorang tengok aku ni macam easy target, sebaya diorang, comel aje, kecik-kecik je. Wakakaka.

Sebelum tulis entry ni aku adalah godek2 blog lain. Keyword aku 'anak bongsu tak reti layan kanak-kanak' hihi. Maka aku pun terjumpa lah 2 buah blog. Aku tak sangka weyy aku ingat aku lah perempuan ayu yang paling cold towards children rupanya TAK! ada geng! Plus akak tu lagi brutal banding aku, tapi end up dia pun jadi mak orang dah.

Kesimpulannya disini, aku sayang budak-budak, comel ke tak comel ke (eh ada ke budak tak comel?) tapiiiii aku tak pandai deal dengan diorang dan tak boleh nak tingkatkan tahap kesabaran aku ni ketika melayan karenah diorang. Sekian.

Wednesday, 16 September 2015

Planning hidup 20 tahun dari sekarang

Assalamualaikum. Amboi tajuk, berwawasan sangat kan!? Hihi. Lately aku sangat rajin baca blog orang, search itu, search ini, yelaa aku kan tengah cuti asek makan-tido-makan-tido je. Lagipun memang hobi aku suka stalk life orang, pastu mulalah tak bersyukur dengan nikmat kurniaan Tuhan, kufur nikmat ish3 dan sebab itulah antara sebab utama kenapa aku delete instagram aku lebih kurang 7 bulan lepas.

Seperti yang anda sedia maklum, sekarang ni aku di tahun 4 medschool walaupun tak start class lagi adoi! Dan usia aku akan genap 22 tahun in 4 days. Sebagai seorang pelajar medik di mesir, program kami berdurasi 6 tahun setengah *dentistry dan pharmacy cuma 5 tahun*. Extra setahun setengah daripada student Malaysia, jadi kepada adik-adik yang mempunyai keputusan matrik/asasi yang pointer 3.0 keatas, akak nasihatkan amek aje la medik kat Malaysia boleh cepat grad, cepat dapat kerja. Korang tau aje la zaman sekarang ni doktor dah makin ramai tak mustahil di masa akan datang ada graduan medik yang menganggur. Nauzubillah...fuhh...fuhh.

Because of that, aku akan dijangka grad pada Mac 2019 jika takda aral melintang, masa tu aku dah 26 tahun wow! Lepas grad aku nak balik Malaysia cepat-cepat untuk inform MMC, KKM dan SPA. Semangat tak semangat? Hehehe risau betul aku kalau lambat dapat tempat sebab aku banyak hutang...sob...sob. Aku nak kerja cepat, nak bayar hutang dengan bank, dengan akak-akak aku, dengan parents aku, kau paham tak dilemma seorang wanita macam aku? Hutang study aku bukan sepuluh ribu, bukan lima puluh ribu tapiiiii jeng..jeng..jeng.. biarlah rahsia. Jadi sementara menunggu panggilan kerja as a houseman yang aku agak-agak minimum dalam 6 bulan menganggur nanti, aku nak dan aku mesti cari kerja! Tak kiralah jadi cashier ke, jadi cikgu tadika ke, jadi cleaner ke, aku mesti dapat kerja by hook or by crook. Tak boleh delay-delay. Malu kowt dengan famili aku asek dibawah tanggungan diorang aje..tsk..tsk. Jadi kesimpulannya, aku kena belajar bawak kereta dan dapat lesen nanti cuti akhir tahun 4, sebab lepas tu aku dah takde cuti panjang lagi sampailah grad. Lepas grad tak nak buang masa aku nak terus dapat part time job. Haaa masa tu jadi part time driver pun boleh. Hihi.

Planning seterusnya adalah jadi seorang doktor yang reti buat kerja dan berguna kepada pesakit! Sebagai seorang rakyat Malaysia, aku kena jalani hidup sebagai seorang houseman minimum 2 tahun. Harap-haraplah berjaya. Lepastu, aku nak jadi MO kat department O+G minimum 2 tahun jugak sebab ini salah satu requirements untuk buat MMed O+G yang mengambil masa selama 4 tahun setengah. Kalau planning ni berjaya dapatlah aku jadi seorang specialist iaitu general O+G dalam usia 34 y/o. Impian aku bukan setakat itu saja. Lepas 2 tahun(minimum) jadi general O+G aku akan apply untuk jadi specialists dalam salah satu subspecialty O+G which is Maternal Fetal Medicine! Kalau berjaya kena undergo training for 3 years! Lepas MOH luluskan semua, di usia 40 tahun nanti bolehlah aku jadi pakar dalam bidang yang aku impikan ni!

Nanti-nanti bila aku dah jemu dengan medic, aku nak bukak satu cafe shop yang menjual desserts & soft beverages. But it doesn't mean that I want to give up on medicine, just as a hobby and side income. Maybe after I finish my HO? or during my MO life? or MMed? or whenever I feel like doing it, but of course at that time I need to have enough starting money to run a business. Don't U think so? :)
Tapi kannnn aku macam ada minat sikitlah untuk pakai baju custom made and design by myself jadi mulalah aku ada impian jugak nak run apparels bussiness. Kahkah!

Bila aku dah tua kerepot nanti aku nak tukar profesion pulak untuk jadi lecturer. Tapi part ni aku tak tau lagi macam mana, maksud aku jalan apa yang perlu aku lalui untuk membolehkan aku jadi seorang lecturer medschool. Ehh tak semestinya lecturer kat medschool, kat fakulti apa-apa pun macam best aje tapi asalkan tak lari dari bidang aku lah. Ayat macam kembali kepada diriku yang tak berwawasan. Kahkah!

Yeeee, menulis memang senang, just tap tap tap screen telefon. Tapiiii omputeh ada kata, 'DREAM BIG' !!! So tak salah kan kalau aku ada impian setinggi langit? Hihi.

Plan hidup aku memang berlandaskan kerjaya aje. Personal matter macam kahwin tu, kalau ada jodoh selitlah kat mana-mana yang ditakdirkan Tuhan, kalau takde jodoh kat dunia, tunggu lah nanti kat syurga. Peaceeee!

Till then.

Friday, 11 September 2015

Credit transfer


Apalah nasib, semua yang dirancang sebelum ni tak menjadi. Tapi chillax, tak bawak mati pun. Aku kan planning nak transfer kredit buat clinical years kat Malaysia, tapi MMC (Malaysian Medical Council) tak approve. Diorang suruh aku start over from 1st year, 1st sem, and I was like 'no wayyyyy!'. Alasan? Syllabus tak sama. The heck man! Masa ops-piramid 2013 bole pulak transfer credit berjemaah, asal aku mintak je tak dapat! Asal time aku je tukar rules. Dahlah keputusan tahun 3 tak mumtaz, berhasil dapat jayid jerrrrrr. Sedih bertimpa-timpa. Member kat Malaysia ada suruh aku merayu dgn MMC and I said 'Malas. Give up'. What an attitude ish3x. Yes aku bukan jenis 'when there's a will, there's a way'. Aku jenis 'when there's a way, I will continue my will'. Sakit hati kan dengan orang macam aku? Kahkah.

Aku tak sabar dah nak masuk 4th year which is bulan depan. Letih dah aku hidup tanpa wawasan ni. Asyik movie-tido-maggie-repeat. Nak cepat-cepat habis tahun 4 sebab nak balik Malaysia! Rindu makanan Malaysia! Rindu member2 kat Malaysia! Lepastu aku plan nak ambik lesen kereta. Tua dah tapi tak reti lagi bawak kereta, budak form 5 lagi maju daripada aku haha!

Actually post ni daripada draft. Masa tu aku tengah emosi tapi malas nak menaip. Sekarang rajin menaip tapi tengah tak emo jadi aku dah lupa nak membebel pasal apa. So, till then.