When mom is not around

when mom is not around everything become chaotic. Mom I miss you. I wish you were here. I'm not very liable to any pressure or stress because imma extremely carefree girl. Actually now I have this kind of stress which is I was late to register for my SPM ulangan. This is all happen because of my ignorant nature. My roommate already told me from the earlier like you-should-ask-your-family-now-to-get-the-form-from-PPD and I always like okay-I-will-tell-them-later later and later and later. Everytime when she reminds me about it I always give the same annoying answer. I totally regret it! And now my sister is the one who got into trouble in managing my late application. Pity her. God! I seriously hate myself very much! She always sacrifice for me and help me. Always motivate me in my studies since I was in primary school and always reminds me to get a brighter future for myself and our family.

gosh what an emotional entry

she always have a high expectation on me yet I always make her disappointed for example I didnt get straight As for my spm, didnt manage to enter medical school in unimas, didnt succeed to get mumtaz last year. I hate myself for being me. I wanna change but you know it is not easy. And yes things are easier said than done.